I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
