the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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