I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
