normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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