Who wears a wallet chain?!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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