S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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