I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
