so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
