i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
