Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize