i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
