i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
