dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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