my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
