in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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