I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
