We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
