well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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