i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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