i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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