After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize