he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
