Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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