Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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