Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
