Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
