There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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