I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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