Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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