Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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