yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
