I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
