White coat. Heels.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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