1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
