Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
