Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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