The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I smell stomach acid.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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