I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
