he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize