I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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