we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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