I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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