i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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