But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so explain again why im purple
no
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize