I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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