Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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