I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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