some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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