Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
