Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
