In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she pinky promised me she was 18
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
