We named our party play list daddy issues
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
