I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
