True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
