just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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