You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
