I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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