But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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