well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
