no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
