Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
