i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
