when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
