I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
