can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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