The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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