maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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